One of the most commonest sexual difficulties seen in men is that they orgasm before they are ready, commonly called premature ejaculation.
Recently, sex councellors have begun to call this rapid ejaculation. Both names are to some extent misleading because the condition described is really a lack of control. There are times when a couple want to be able to reach climax quickly, whilst on other occasions they wish to defer this mutual orgasm for as long as possible, perhaps even hours, so that both partners can get complete satisfaction.
Control is usually learnt in the late teens but for reasons which are not fully understood, about 25% of men do not learn this skill at 17 or 18. If these men get into a very active sexual relationship, where they have frequent intercourse, perhaps two or three times a day, seven days a week, the problems generally solves itself very quickly, but about 6 or 7% of men do not learn this skill and continue to have a lack of control into their mature years. It is NEVER due to any physical cause, although it is certainly made worse by anxiety, fear, anger, stress or rushing around.
Treatment has been successful for many years now. The first program for dealing with the problem was the “stop/start method” described in 1960.
Later the “squeeze technique” was devised by Masters & Johnson in 1966.
There are other behavioural methods, such as the “testicular tug” reported by many workers from all around the world between 1974 and 1978, but they are less successful.
The stop/start method or squeeze technique, when practiced with a caring, concerned, co-operative partner, and working with a counsellor or therapist are successful in over 90% of cases.
Experience suggests that the success rate will not be so high if the couple try to “go it alone”. Part of the reason for this is that there are often differences of attitude between men and women and it is best that the direction or pace of therapy is set by the therapist, so if any anger or resentment does develop it is directed at the counsellor rather than the partner.
The use of medications and drugs to slow down ejaculation has not been particularly successful, with only 30 or 35% of cases being treated successfully. The use of anaesthetic creams which may slow the man down also anaesthetises the clitoris and vulva of the woman, so reducing her chance of being able to reach a climax.
As a rule, sexual arousal is slower in women that in men, so couples must be prepared to spend plenty of time on loveplay, which is necessary to bring the woman to the plateau stage of arousal, when her vagina balloons or tents.
This is the name to describe what happens when the pelvic floor muscle (the pubo-coccygeous), which normally supports the vagina, opens right up and the is able easily to admit a penis, however large.
When the woman is not ready, the pubo-coccygeous muscle will massage the penis, so it is more likely that the man will ejaculate before the couple is ready.
It is a myth that women are made “too small”. In modern society a pelvis which is contracted to the extent that it is too small to accept an erect penis is rare, although that was probably not the case years ago when nutrition was not so good, and diseases such as rickets were rife.
As premature or rapid ejaculation is so readily treated, if you feel this is your problem then seek help either alone, or even better, with your partner or from a therapist or counsellor.
Approach your general practitioner who will either be able to undertake the treatment, or may refer you on to somebody who specialises in sexual or relationship problems, because sometimes premature ejaculation is a sign that all is not well within the relationship. If you have doubts take the opportunity to talk the whole matter through.
|Anorgasmia||Barrier Methods of Contraception|
|Impotence||Loss of Libido|
|Post Natal Depression||Pregnancy|
|Premature Ejaculation||Retarded Ejaculation|
|Sex and Disability||Sexual Activity during and after Pregnancy|
|Smoking and Pregnancy||Stretch Marks in Pregnancy|
|Syphilis and Gonorrhoea||Termination (Abortion)|
|The I.U.D. (or Intra Uterine Device)||The Pill (Oral Contraceptive Pill or OCP)|
|The Rhythm Method of Birth Control
or Natural Family Planning
|Vasectomy||What is Normal??|
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